hears noises at night:	well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life
gets shampoo in my eyes:	I guess I'm blind now how am I ever going to see my first born child
heart is beating fast:	I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is
a cop walks by:	here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone
taking a test:	don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school and amount to nothing
gets a sunburn:	great now I have skin cancer how will I tell my parents
tripping over something:	I guess my leg will have to be amputated why did this happen to me
period is late:	crap i'm pregnant i'm the next virgin mary
laptop shuts suddenly down:	well fuck it's broken forever bye everything bye money